CEO: chief embezzlement officer. BULL MARKET: A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius. BEAR MARKET: A 6 to 18-month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex. MOMENTUM INVESTING: The fine art of buying high and selling low. VALUE INVESTING: The art of buying low and selling lower P/E RATIO: The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing. BUY, BUY: A flight attendant making market recommendations as you step off the plane. STANDARD & POOR: Your life in a nutshell. STOCK ANALYST: Idiot who just downgraded your stock. MARKET CORRECTION: The day after you buy stocks. CASH FLOW: The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet. WINDOWS 2000: What you jump out of when you're the sucker that bought Yahoo @ $240 per share. YAHOO: What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share. INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR: Someone who has owned equities for the last two years and who's now locked up long-term in a hospital PROFIT: Religious guy who talks to God
Join our low volume email list to keep abreast of developments and offers.
Ask not what you can do for your country; ask what your government is doing to you. -Joseph Sobran