THE BLONDE YEAR IN REVIEW January: Took her new scarf back to the store because it was too tight. February: Couldn't work in a pharmacy because the bottles wouldn't fit into the typewriter. March: Got excited when she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months because the box said "2-4 years." April: Was trapped on an escalator for hours when the power went out. May: Couldn't make Kool-Aid because 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets. June: Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope. July: After losing in a breast stroke swimming competition, complained to the judges that the other swimmers were using their arms. August: Told her blonde friend to hurry when trying to get into their locked car using a coat hanger because it was starting to rain and the top was down. September: When asked what the capital of California was: answered "C." October: Hates M & M's because they are so hard to peel. November: Baked a turkey for 4 days because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 120. December: Couldn't call 911 because there was no "11" on any phone button.
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The art of government consists in taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other. -Voltaire